The Best Way to Introduce Yourself In Any Setting - Follow This Simple 3 Step Formula!
People begin forming their opinion about you within the first three seconds of meeting you - and once they do, it's pretty hard to change their mind.
Which means the way you introduce yourself matters. But this YouTube episode explains,
The consequences of bad introductions
3 reasons why strong introductions are critical to your success.
A simple three step formula that you can use to introduce yourself to anybody in any situation.
Introductions probably feel like a trivial formality to you at this point…
You've introduced yourself so many times, with so many people, in so many different settings - that each introduction probably feels like an insignificant passing moment in time.
But introductions not only matter - they're actually critical to your success. And more importantly, bad introductions can have crucial consequences.
You see, the way you introduce yourself sets the tone for the rest of your interaction with that person. And when you meet them, you're still a clean slate. Which means your introduction is your only window of opportunity to really quickly establish trust, project confidence, and show signs that you're personable and approachable.
But if you don't, you quickly become forgettable and go unconsidered. Or even worse - if you say the wrong thing and if the other person perceives you as untrustworthy, it's nearly impossible to change that perception.
This means that how you answer seemingly simple questions like tell me about yourself during an interview, can make the difference between getting an offer - or being forgotten and getting rejected.
Which leads me to…
The 3 Reasons Why Introductions are Critical to Your Success
As I walk through these, I'll be using interviewing for a job as the main example…
But these principles apply to networking, making friends, talking to your waiter at the restaurant, dating - and any scenario where you're gonna be introducing yourself.
1 - Creates Positive Momentum
The first reason why introductions are critical to your success is that the introduction initiates your momentum for the rest of your interaction with that person.
A good introduction creates positive momentum and it works in your favor. While a bad introduction creates negative momentum that works against you.
You see, people begin forming opinions about you within the first three seconds of meeting you. Here's how it works...
When you first meet someone, you start off with a clean slate, so the other person enters with a completely open mind about you, which means they're still easily impressionable.
But as quick as three seconds into the conversation, the person slowly becomes less open-minded.
Think of it like a spectrum with “open-minded” on one end and “closed minded” on the other end.
As the conversation continues, the bar continuously moves closer to the closed minded end of the spectrum - and after a few minutes, the person is more than 50% closed minded.
This matters because now the person goes from “impressionable mode” - where they're still viewing you objectively, and with an open mind…
They switch from this mode into “confirmation bias mode” - which means the other person has formed opinions about you. So instead of trying to learn more about you, they're simply trying to confirm their opinion about you is right!
This doesn't make them a bad person - in fact, everyone does this!
It's how our brains are wired, and it's all subconscious too.
You don't even realize that you're doing it, which is exactly why it's difficult to change someone's opinion about you shortly after introducing yourself.
This doesn't mean that it's impossible to change someone's mind about you - it just means that it will take a lot more work, effort, and creativity.
Think of it like gravity…
If you're trying to move a 100 lb block up a hill, it probably feels like you're trying to move a 1000 lb block - because you're working against.
This is what happens when you make a bad first impression!
For the rest of that conversation, you're working against their confirmation bias - and you basically have to work 10x harder just to change their mind about you.
However, if you take that same 100 lb block and move it downhill, it's almost effortless because gravity does the work for you.
When your introduction creates a positive first impression, you basically have gravity or confirmation bias working in your favor - because now, the other person has a positive opinion of you...
They’re simply trying to confirm that their opinion is right. This means that the other person becomes more willing to overlook your potential flaws.
It's basically the difference between being innocent until proven - or guilty until proven innocent.
2 - Introductions are a Two-Way Street
Yes, people are measuring you up when you introduce yourself - but it's a two-way street, which means it's your chance to measure up the other person.
During an interview, it's your chance to read the person who's interviewing you…
Do you feel like they're being sincere and genuine with you?
Would you like working for this person?
Or
Do you think this person is untrustworthy?
Are they just selling you a bill of goods and tricking you into taking a job that’s not a good fit?
However, if you're stressing over how you're gonna introduce yourself during these moments - by overanalyzing what you're gonna say - then you're basically wasting this opportunity to gauge and read the other person.
Meanwhile, from the other person's perspective, as you're stuck in your head, the other person thinks you’re not paying attention to them - which hurts you even more, because people pick up on these things.
And this leads me to my third and final reason why introductions are so important…
3 - People Are Attracted to Confidence
People aren't just listening to what you say. They're also picking up on your nonverbal cues, like speaking pace, tone of voice, posture, facial expressions, and so on.
We make judgments of people. We meet based on split second reactions, even when we're presented with countervailing facts and evidence.
Malcolm Gladwell calls this thin slicing, and it's basically deciding to swipe left or right, but in real time.
But one thing that people are immediately attracted to is confidence!
When you're able to project confidence, it sends messages of trust and openness, interest, respect, warmth - all positive things.
It sends these signals to the other person, and basically makes the other person want to like you.
However, if your introduction is a little shaky - or if you're scrambling to answer a straightforward question like, “tell me about yourself” - it basically projects the opposite of confidence.
But when your introduction is calm, smooth, and clear - it radiates confidence!
And you can create this impression every time you introduce yourself by following this simple 3 step formula formula…
Introduction Formula: Past-Present-Future
Here's how it works…
When you introduce yourself, lead with a present tense statement about yourself.
Here's an example,
Hi, I'm Doug Howard - I'm a licensed engineer, but my current focus is helping engineers build non-engineering skills through my YouTube.
Consider the situation and the audience when you're deciding what information you want to share.
When in doubt, just share your name and your job title. But if there's an opportunity to elaborate, you can share details about your expertise or a project that you're working on - or perhaps where you're from, or where you live.
Here's another example,
I'm a structural engineer - and right now, I'm in the middle of working on a multi-year project designing a series of commercial warehouses for Macy's department stores.
My favorite part about my current job is that I get an inside look at how some of the biggest companies in the world make their products.
The second part of your introduction should be in the past tense.
This is where you can share relevant information about your background and your experie. But more important, this is your opportunity to build credibility with the other person.
Here's an example,
My background is in structural engineering and leadership. As a manager, I took a small 5 person engineering department and I built it into a team of 40 people.
Before I was a manager, I was the lead engineer at a small private firm that specializes in custom designing heavy equipment platforms for military training facilities.
Consider which information about you is relevant to your audience.
If it's a job interview, you'll obviously wanna focus on talking about your work experience, projects you've worked on, previous employers, your credentials, your accomplishments, and so on.
In regards to considering your audience…
Iif this is an informal introduction - like at a party - you can use work to segway into something about your past that's more personable and more fun,
So if you're talking about previous work experience, you should tie it into the impact it had on you - or what it meant to you?
Here's an example,
After graduating from college, I really thought that I wanted to design skyscrapers. But after working for a few years, I discovered that my true passions and strengths were in leadership. So I quickly pivoted my career in that direction.
Or you could ignore work altogether and craft your introduction in a way that's completely fun and personable - for example,
I'm originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. But my fiance and I moved to New York last year because we had a once in a lifetime opportunity to live in a beautiful house on the Finger Lakes.
Here’s another example,
I'm an engineer now, but honestly - my favorite job was back in college when I was a wedding DJ.
Something about playing music for a crowd full of people that were just looking to celebrate and have a good time every weekend - along with some free drinks and dinner - I mean, what more could a 21 year old ask for?
The third and final part of this formula is future focused. This is your chance to show your enthusiasm for what's coming up on the horizon.
In a job interview, you can share your excitement and eagerness towards opportunities with the company that you're applying for.
For example,
The idea of working in a fast-paced environment with a small startup company has me really excited because it provides me with plenty of opportunities to grow and learn with the company.
If you're in a meeting, you can show your interest in the meeting topic - for example,
I'm really looking forward to this meeting and solving these challenges because it's gonna save us a lot of time, stress, and money.
If you're kicking off a project, show that you're excited about the goals of the project - for example,
I was thrilled when I found out I'd be working on this project because it's my first opportunity to get out in the field and actually see the product.
The key with this part of the formula is that it has to be something you're genuinely excited about, so don't fake it!
As a quick recap - the next time you're preparing for an interview or going into a setting where you're going to be introducing yourself…
Take a moment and think to yourself…
Past….Present….Future
Then quickly craft your intro!
