Mastering the Art of Managing Up: 9 Mistakes You NEED to Avoid

Have you ever poured your heart and soul into a project only to have your manager seem completely unfazed by your accomplishment?

Or maybe you've spent countless hours trying to convince your boss on a no brainer decision that would have a huge positive impact on your company only to have it fall on deaf ears.

It's a frustrating feeling, I know, but the truth is sometimes it's not about how hard you work or how logical your argument is. But instead, it's about how effectively you communicate to your manager. That's where managing up comes in. It's about building a strong, collaborative relationship with your boss to ensure that your goals are both aligned, that your contributions are recognized, and that you're setting yourself up for success.

But let's be honest, navigating this relationship can be tricky, which is why today, you're we're diving into a crucial topic for everyone at any point in your career, and that's how to effectively manage upward. I'm going to share the nine biggest mistakes most people make when it comes to managing upward. I'm also going to show you how to avoid each of these mistakes.

But first, I just want to quickly introduce myself to those of you who are new to the channel. I'm Doug Howard, and I help leaders unlock their full potential through soft skills development. On this channel, we explore leadership through the lens of emotional intelligence, influence and the human side of management.

1 - Assuming Your Manager Has the Same Communication Style as You

Now let's dive into the nine biggest mistakes people make while managing upward.

Mistake number one is assuming that your manager speaks the same language as you.

Let's face it. We all have our preferred way of working. Some people thrive on constant email updates while other people prefer in person brainstorming sessions.

The problem arises when you assume your manager shares your communication style, instead of adapting your communication style to match your manager's.

Here's the fix. Early on, take some time to understand how your manager likes to receive information. Do they prefer concise emails or detailed reports? Maybe they prefer quick phone calls or in depth meetings. Once you know what their communication style is, adjust your communication style accordingly so that you can ensure that your messages land effectively with your manager.

2 - Overlooking Your Manager's Goals and Priorities

Mistake number two is overlooking your manager's goals and priorities.

Think of yourself as a race car driver. You can be the most skilled driver on the track, but if you're not heading in the right direction, you'll never win the race. The same goes for your career. You're going to need to find ways to align your efforts with your boss's efforts. You're also going to need to make sure that you're supporting your boss's bigger picture.

Here's how you can do this. Don't just focus on your individual tasks. Instead, take the initiative to understand your manager's overall goals and your manager's overall priorities. Ask questions and tailor your work directly to support them. This shows that you're a team player invested in the bigger picture, and this is really going to resonate with them.

Before I continue, I want to know what your biggest challenges are when it comes to managing upward. Share your experiences and questions in the comments below, and who knows, your feedback might drive the topic for a future episode on this channel.

3 - Hesitant to Bring Up Challenges and Opportunities

Moving on, mistake number three is hesitating to bring up challenges and opportunities.

Don't be a silent observer. Proactively bring ideas to the table. Sometimes you might encounter a roadblock in your work, but instead of just silently struggling on your own, view these challenges as opportunities for growth and discussion with your boss. Don't be afraid to bring potential problems to your manager.

But remember, come prepared. Frame challenges constructively and offer potential solutions, even if they're not fully fleshed out. This shows initiative and problem solving on your part, which your manager is definitely going to appreciate.

4 - Limiting Your Relationship to Work

Mistake number four is limiting your relationship to work.

Most people make the mistake of keeping your relationship with your boss purely about work, but we forget that your manager is a human being too. They're not just a taskmaster. Building rapport with them goes a long way in strengthening communication and trust.

So here's the fix. Find ways to connect with your boss on a personal level, of course, while respecting professional boundaries. Maybe you strike up a conversation about a recent industry event, or maybe you ask their advice on a career path you're considering, or maybe you ask them how they've gotten to this point in their career. What do they attribute their success to, or how did they know they wanted to go down this career path that they're on? You can ask them questions about their experiences to get them to open up to you.

If you're struggling to find ways to enhance your relationship with your boss, You should check out my episode called How To Quickly Build Relationships With Anyone.

5 - Calling Out Problems Without Giving Solutions

Mistake number five is calling out problems without giving solutions.

Back when I was an engineering manager, this was what would frustrate me the most. People coming into my office without providing a solution, because all they did was just create more work for me to figure out without giving me any assistance in figuring out how to solve it. The way I look at it is, if you walk into your manager's office with just the problem, it's basically like showing up to a battle empty handed.

Here's the fix. When you encounter a challenge, don't just present the challenge to your boss. Take some time to brainstorm potential solutions, even if they're not fully formed and vetted, taking the time to do that beforehand shows initiative and it shows problem solving skills on your part. It's going to make you a more valuable asset to your boss. They're really going to appreciate that you took the time to come with potential solutions, even if it's not the right solution.

6 - Assuming Your Manager Has All the Answers

Mistake number six is assuming that your manager has all the answers.

It's tempting to see your manager as some type of all knowing figure, but remember they're human and they probably don't have all the answers.

So instead, don't be afraid to share your own unique perspective and insights on a situation. Maybe you have experience in a specific area that they don't. Also, encourage them to seek input from others.

7 - Avoiding Feedback (Seeking and Giving)

Mistake number seven is avoiding feedback.

This means seeking feedback as well as giving feedback. Remember, feedback is not a one way street. Both you and your manager can benefit from constructive criticism. You should be actively seeking feedback from your manager on your work on a regular basis.

But don't stop there. Offer feedback on their communication style or on areas where you think they could improve their guidance to you. Frame it all in a way that focuses on growth and development for both of you.

If you struggle with delivering effective feedback, you should check out my episode called How To Give Constructive Feedback Without The Stress.

8 - Being Too Tactical in Conversations

Mistake number eight is being too tactical in conversations.

It's easy to get bogged down in the day to day tasks, but remember, your manager also cares about the bigger picture, which means you have to balance tactics with strategy.

Don't limit your discussions to just the immediate to do lists. Make sure you're weaving in conversations about long term goals, upcoming projects, and potential opportunities. This demonstrates your strategic thinking and your forward looking approach.

9 - Not Providing Enough Visibility on Your Work

Mistake number nine is not providing enough visibility on your work.

Have you ever heard the saying, out of sight, out of mind? The same applies to your work. Don't leave your manager guessing about your progress. You need to shine a light on your work because nobody else is going to do it for you.

Make sure you're keeping your manager informed about your projects. Regularly share your updates on progress, any potential risks you foresee, and of course your wins. This transparency builds trust and avoids any unpleasant surprises down the line.

Those are the nine most common mistakes people make when it comes to managing up. If you want to learn how to take this further, you should check out my episode called How to Influence Upward, Downward, and Cross functionally at Work.

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